The 5 Fundamental Texting Commandments

[Originally appeared at the Coffee Meets Bagel Blog] Online dating can be a serious grind at times. Even on CMB, where your daily matches are highly curated and personalized to your network and tastes! Can’t we just meet people organically and naturally within our daily lives? Oh, you mean the daily life where you’re not in school, working full-time, and mostly just head home after work? Yeah… good luck with that. It’s 2014, and if you haven’t noticed yet, online dating is the new organic! By the time you are connected on CMB, the goal should be to begin a …

Upgrade your profile with these 3 easy steps.

You are laid back and like to laugh? Check. Can’t live without coffee or your iPhone? Check. Grainy, 3-year old pictures of yourself pulled from Facebook? Most definitely check. Are you guilty of using any of those phrases or pictures? If so, this post might be for you. If you’ve only narrowly avoided the aforementioned by using pictures that are only 2 years old, or describing yourself as merely “chill”… well this post is definitely still for you. Hell, if you have any interest in raising your reply rates by a substantial percentage, this post is for you. How’s that …

Is she THE ONE? The only 3 questions that matter.

What truly matters when you’re evaluating whether your current gal is in it to win it… or destined to come up short? In other words, what can you ask yourself to definitely answer if she is THE ONE? Short answer: Nothing. Long, realistic, and nuanced answer: If you’re looking for a magic bullet on this topic, it simply doesn’t exist. Very rarely will you ever come across that singular “A-HA!” moment that’s going to decide the rest of your life for you. You can feel free to chase that feeling, but sooner or later you might just realize that those …

The ‘maybe’ myth (or how to stop wasting time on people that you don’t really want)

Strike the word “maybe” from your relationship vocabulary. This is partially about being efficient and not wasting your precious time. Partially about deciphering what we really mean when we think about people in terms of maybe. But mostly about how to decide whether the person you’re with is worth your time… and it’s a pretty simple process to find out how you really feel. Just ask yourself if you can see being with them long term. “I would be okay with that.” “I can see it.” “Maybe.” Maybe is a myth. Maybe means no.

Why doesn’t she just “want sex more?”

Throughout my writings, I often allude to the fact that men are less emotionally open, vulnerable, and perceptive. Women are less sexually expressive, desiring, and open. Generally speaking, of course. The annoying part about this is that there is a near-complete overlap between those suppressions and what each sex feels is lacking from their ideal relationships. I don’t necessarily believe that women are less sexual creatures inherently. Men are women aren’t necessarily wired that differently. But they are brought up and socialized incredibly differently. From childhood, men are taught to be stoic, tough, not show emotions, not cry, and to …

The 2 best conversation starters ever.

In my previous post, I distinguished between the pickup line and the conversation starter. The best pickup line I can recommend is simply “Hey, what’s your name?” It’s easy, unpretentious, non-manipulative… and has a powerful freeing mindset. It allows you to be free and not depend on a certain circumstance or topic to arise, otherwise known as a crutch. But I also recommend scratching the whole pickup mentality… because when you’re just engaging a woman to sleep with her, you psych yourself out and lose sight of the conversation and connection at hand that must flow well for the opportunity …

My most recommended pickup line.

Are you ready for it? Prepared to have your mind blown by how simple and easy it can be? “Hey, what’s your name?” That’s it. The perfect pickup line simply doesn’t exist. If it did, you would have heard of it already… which means that everyone else, including all the ladies, would have too. And then it wouldn’t be the perfect pickup line anymore. Point being, the perfect line to woo that hottie at the bar is a myth. A line that is charming, intriguing, hilarious… and which also doesn’t put you out there for rejection or indicate too much …

5 easy ways to figure out where your relationship stands.

So you’ve been on a series of 6 dates with one girl spanning a few weeks. She gets your twisted, and let’s admit it, super awkward sense of humor. Your physical chemistry is off the charts. Most importantly she accepts your irrational love of boy bands. At this point, it’s clear that she’s not just another potential smash-and-dash victim and there might be a relationship in the works. Far be it from me to capitalize on stereotypes… but women aren’t fans of uncertainty in terms of how they stand with guys they really like. But guess what? Guys aren’t either! …

Are you a nice guy or a people pleaser?

Nice guys always seem to finish last. Or do they? I’ll tell you one thing – women LOVE nice guys. Who doesn’t like being treated well? What women DON’T love is people-pleasers, guys that don’t prioritize themselves, and guys that bend over backwards to cater to their whims and needs. So who’s really finishing last? The terms “nice” and “people-pleaser” have taken on a curious definition and connotation in the past few years, and yes it’s been mostly negative. Part of the reason that it’s negative is because when we see someone put other people’s values and priorities above their …

3 easy steps to a killer date.

It’s got to be one of the worst feelings in the world. You’re excited for your date, listened to your ‘pump up’ playlist (which better include a combination of The Darkness, Marvin Gaye, and Queen) and used far too many spritzes of cologne to be healthy for your lungs. It’s game time. Then you arrive to a date that seems like more of an interview than anything else, by virtue of trading “How about yous” and jumping from topic to topic in a vain attempt to find something shallow to connect on. Of course, this whole endeavor ends with you …