Nice guys finish last.
It’s a popular saying many guys use to justify their spot on the totem pole of women they desire.
It’s also a misconception that’s up there with Obama’s origin of birth.
What’s a nice guy?
Nice guys are generally awesome – they’ll pick you up from the airport, help you with your groceries, and volunteer to go on a beer run if necessary. Other guys like nice guys, and women certainly like nice guys.
Most self-proclaimed nice guys are actually just afflicted with Nice Guy Syndrome, and feel like they are cheated out of a fair shot at a woman despite doing everything by the book. They take them out, buy them things, and act as their emotional dishrag, soaking up only the excess when necessary. They place the woman’s desires higher than their own priorities, and essentially become pushovers.
These self-proclaimed nice guys are people-pleasers that are fundamentally mistaken about what is attractive to women. So who’s actually finishing last? Not the actual nice guys.
The vast majority of women don’t want someone to treat them like a princess and cater to them all the time. They may enjoy being spoiled and doted over initially, but having your way 100% of the time gets old.
Ever get annoyed when someone has literally no opinion on where to eat, and you have to make all of the decisions?
Women want someone that will stimulate and challenge them and ultimately call their equal. There’s a reason why women always say that they are looking for “a partner in crime” – it’s not just semantics.
People crave challenge. It’s addicting, arousing, and literally makes us go crazy. That’s the real cause of butterflies in your stomach and romantic chemistry.
Life is unstimulating and boring without it.
People-pleasers have low self-esteem and crave the approval and acceptance of others.
Not only do people-pleasers believe their excessive actions are the way to a woman’s heart, they also feel putting forth a woman’s approval above being assertive and believing in their own opinions. This is a dangerous recipe, and the root of many a frustrated man.
So how can a self-proclaimed nice guy finish first?
First, use your newfound awareness of what is unattractive to women.
Women already have a father, and don’t need you to dote on them like one. When you suffocate a woman and do too much for her, it ultimately repulses her because you take away her own independence.
Second, voice your opinion and be assertive, even if you think people might disagree.
When you are simply nice, especially to women, you become a version of yourself that is extremely forgettable. If women someone to follow them around like a puppy, they would own an actual puppy.
When you voice your own opinions, you also open yourself to finding women that truly like you for you and agree with your silly takes on Star Wars.
Finally, re-program your expectations about what women want.
Women don’t want every day to be Valentine’s Day, nor do they need it to be.
You’re not friends with your friends because you spoil them constantly, or because you agree on everything. Women are no different and don’t belong on a pedestal.
Real nice guys never finish last because they act out of authentic caring. What’s the real reason you’re acting for others?