Miscommunications are a side effect of relationships… and not even the Brady Bunch can avoid them. Sometimes when we’re just trying to convey that the dishes weren’t washed too well, the main message may fall by the wayside as a result of your body language, tone of voice, facial expression… mood, time of day, stress levels. Miscommunication-ville.
Sometimes it’s a wonder that we communicate as well as we do, given how much reading between the lines is required on a daily basis!
But being aware of your love languages (in the manner popularized by Gary Chapman) is one surefire way to improve your relationship, reduce miscommunications, and vault your relationship to its full potential.
Your love languages, for the uninformed, are the ways in which you show and manifest your love and affection for your partner. They tend to represent the priorities that you value the most, and thus look for in return from your partner.
Chapman’s love languages framework consists of the following 5 categories: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time spent together, physical touch, and gift giving.
So for example, if you value acts of service, you probably perform many household duties for your partner and make them lunch every day. But if your partner doesn’t perform those back for you, you might be unappreciated. However, your partner values physical touch and shows their love for you by constantly hugging you, holding your hand, and cuddling. It’s certainly not a dealbreaker, but mismatched love languages can be the source of many arguments.
The realization that people even have different love languages can be powerful.