The art of the online brag

Online dating, for the numerous interpretations of human behavior you could assess to it, is but one thing at its core. It is a marketplace that is driven through sales.

So how do you sell yourself, or brag, effectively online and through writing?

First, two universal truths:

No one likes a braggart.

No one likes too much modesty or low self-esteem.

How do you find a balance? Here is a set of guidelines for you to follow when positioning yourself as the ripest avocado in the store:

  1. People don’t typically outright brag; it’s almost always in a funny or self-deprecating way.
  2. You can outright brag about sweet (volunteering), cute (worked for SPCA), funny (funny story about getting Michael Jordan’s autograph), unique (I can juggle 18 balls at once), or objectively awesome things (I once won a $500 Best Buy gift card).
  3. Anything that serves to increase your masculinity must be disguised with humor or self-deprecation. For example, I once benched 300 on a dare and immediately pulled my bicep, hamstring, and lower back.
  4. If you brag outright, you better have a legitimate claim, and be prepared to be judged on it.