4 Steps to Fearless Social Confidence

Social confidence is something that I like to call a gateway emotion. With social confidence, the world looks like a meadow of possibilities. Every networking event is just an opportunity to meet someone amazing, and even the chance to improve your career. You are excited as opposed to anxious. Without social confidence? The world is a bleak and unforgiving place. Everything is a chance to screw up, feel stupid, and turn red from judgment. Feelings of despair and hopelessness are never far away, and sometimes you just stay in your room to avoid it all. For those that have come …

How To Be a “People Person”

What exactly does it mean to be a “people person?” It’s a loaded term that people impart a lot of meaning to. Here’s what you probably mean when you say that you want to be a better people person – you want to be able to blend in seamlessly among any crowd and make them like you. That’s really the gist of it. But the way to achieve that loft goal goes far beyond surface level thinking of “I’m going to be funny” or “I’m going to be nice and compliment them.” If you go about it that way, then …

5 Conversation Tactics for Social Situations

Oh, we’ve all been there. It’s a nice event or party but suddenly we run out of things to say to the person across from us. We take multiple sips of our drink while continually muttering “Yeah… that was so funny… yeah…” and hope that a beam falls from the ceiling so you have something to talk about. Crap, this conversation is beyond salvaging and you were really hoping to make a connection with that influential person! If this sounds familiar or brings back painful flashbacks, worry no more. Here are 5 conversation tactics for social situations you can use …

First Impressions: 8 Essential Components for Instant Charm

I’ve been marinating on this one for a while, but I’m happy to present the 8 Essential Components for a Bulletproof First Impression. Create instant charm easily by keeping it simple. If you want read more in depth about first impressions and connecting instantly, you might want to check out my book Connect Instantly: 60 Seconds to Likability!

Difficult Conversations – 4 Ways To Confront (Without Feeling Like a Confrontation)

No matter how charming you are, not every conversation you partake in is going to be a pleasure. Now, this means one of two things. First, it means that you might not enjoy the people you are talking to. This happens frequently. Second, and more importantly, it means that some of your conversations are by nature difficult, awkward, and confrontational. When you need to talk to you co-worker about how she talks too much, or to your girlfriend about how you need more space when you’re with your friends – these are not easy conversations for anyone. You know what …

Social skills as a habit.

Most people accept that the world is not a meritocracy. You can have the best credentials and resume in the world and (1) not make partner, (2) not get that promotion, and (3) not even get your foot in the door. It happens routinely, and most of the time we accept it as a result of the age-old adage Life is about who you know… I’d like to add an addendum to that saying, that it’s not actually about who you know, it’s about who likes you. That’s the importance of building social skills as a habit. Social skills are …

Tension – the biggest key to eye contact. Period.

You’re bad at eye contact because there is too much tension. You all know the feeling. When you lock eyes with someone, a sense of tension starts building in your eyeballs. Sometimes, this means that the longest eye contact you can maintain with someone is 2-3 seconds.

The biggest mistake everyone makes with eye contact.

More eye contact is NOT better eye contact. Most advice on eye contact centers on the premise that you’re just not making enough eye contact. “Make strong eye contact. Don’t waver or glance away. Hold it like you’re facing an oncoming bear. Make your strength and presence known.” That’s wrong.

Taking any joke head-on with success.

There aren’t many ways to take a joke head-on. Almost every way you go, you either demonstrate some kind of insecurity or inject awkwardness into your conversation. Today’s quick tip is about an easy way to deflect a joke and demonstrate a sense of security and comfort in yourself.